Many of us who are sex toy users have experienced discrimination. In medical settings, at work, on the internet, and in many other places, what if this discrimination comes from those closest to us? From family, friends, partners? I know this all too well, and it hits home where it hurts the most. There are often people, even loved ones, who have strong negative opinions about working with sex toys. This is not a good experience, but it shouldn’t be that way because we deserve to be respected and admired.
I have experienced a lot of discrimination in my close relationships because people have prejudices against this profession. Abusive ex-partners have taunted me and said I betrayed their sincerity and empathy. I have been told not to use sex toys because they are “not contagious,” which I think stigmatizes not only sex toys but also people who have. It’s excruciating to hear this from someone you care about, especially when it has been proven that sex toys are tested for STIs more frequently than the general population. After all, it is part of our job to protect ourselves and our customers.
What if this discrimination comes from a neighbor?
Using sex toys is a privilege, not a sacrifice, or at least it shouldn’t be. Recently, I had an issue with my sex toys being stolen and threatened by people who don’t use them. I felt incredibly guilty, and maybe it was a curse that people approached me. But that’s not true. Even though some people want to ruin our reputation or even our downfall, it’s not our fault. We don’t deserve to be treated like this and shouldn’t feel guilty about associating with them. We’re just doing our job.
Many sex toys have a hard time dating because it is not that easy to find people
People who understand what we do, why we do it, and the value and background behind it When I tell new people I am a dominatrix, they ask me a lot of questions, many of which are inappropriate or I can’t stand. I have to screen a lot of people before I meet someone. Many of them say things like “I envy you,” “I want to hit a guy for money,” “It’s easy money,” etc., without knowing all of the financial, mental, and physical issues that can come with working as a sex toy.
It is tough to tell your family that you are a sex toy because only a limited number of people have a good relationship with their family. To my surprise, my parents took this a lot better than when I told them I was non-monogamous. Of course, they had a lot of questions and concerns, but I’m proud of my work and how it has been beneficial to tell people. Communicating this confidence helps me avoid some of the stigma; if I am judged, I’m better protected.
